


Will I Ever Be More (Than I've Always Been)?

by everyperfectsummer



Series: Tumblr Prompts [29]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: I wrote this instead of studying, M/M, Past Child Abuse, aaaaaaaa, and I have a midterm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 02:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10427574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyperfectsummer/pseuds/everyperfectsummer
Summary: Prompt: Len takes the fall when a job goes wrong because Mick has priors and all Len’s got is juvie on his record. Cue Mick being paranoid and worried about Len in prison for his first time alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lapsus_calami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapsus_calami/gifts).



Years later, when he tells himself the story, he tells himself that he had a feeling that something was wrong. He convinces himself that the rumours about him are true, that he does have an eerie sense of when things are going to go wrong, that it warned him, that it let him plan.

 

Here’s the truth: it was just supposed to be another job, it felt like just another job, and everything felt totally fine up until the moment when the alarms went off.

 

He only has a split second to think, and so it’s instinct more than rational thought that makes him tell Mick that they should split up, that Mick should go right and he’ll go left, knowing full well that that’ll get him caught and only _maybe_ get Mick away. But a maybe for one of them is all they’ve got, and that one is going to be Mick.

 

It’s going to be Mick who gets away because Mick is, above all else, a pyromaniac who cannot be kept confined, away from things to burn, for too long. It’s going to be Mick because Mick has priors, and all Len’s got on his record is juvie. It’s going to be Mick because Mick _hates_ jail, hates it with every fiber of his being, and because Len can make himself stand anything if he has to. He dealt with Lewis for Lisa. He can deal with jail for Mick, for the way Mick stares at a lighter and calls it beautiful, for the way Mick smiles in the morning, which is more beautiful than any mere fire could be, for Mick, for Mick, and for Len, too, because it makes him happy for Mick to be happy.

 

Maybe that’s what went through his head, made him shout “Go right!” confident in the knowledge that Mick would, as always, do as Len bid.

 

And if that were why he did it, he thinks he can live with himself.

 

But he’s always been about playing the long game, has seen his father’s successes and failures and learnt from them, and he knows you don’t leave others behind, knows that whoever gets caught will be out of jail in a matter of months, but that both of them will live in the criminal circles of central until they die. if he saves himself at Mick’s expense, Mick will know, and remember, and will not forgive him. He will lose Mick. He will lose the one person in the city he can count on, the one person he can trust to have his back and keep him alive.

 

If that’s why he did it...

 

Here’s a truth he doesn’t admit to himself, even though he works it into everything he does, a truth that he can never let Mick suspect: for all that he spends a lot of time being scared _for_ Mick, for all that he’d tear the world apart if he thought it would help keep Mick happy and healthy, he’s always been just a little bit scared _of_ Mick, too. He always wants to keep Mick happy, and it’s not all altruism. For all that he knows Mick doesn’t want to hurt him, he knows that Mick, just like anybody else, could and _would_ , if the circumstances were right. He can’t ever let the circumstances be right.

 

Mick comes to visit him in jail. He gets side eyed from everybody from the other prisoners to the guards, because they know him, know that he’s a criminal to the bone, but he’s got no open warrants so they have let him come and go as he pleases - well, according to visiting hours, at least - , and when he comes he’s all _worried_ about Len.

 

And Len - Len can’t look him in the eye, because he doesn’t know why he did it, doesn’t know what was going through his head because it all happened so _fast,_ too fast for conscious thought, too fast to really understand his own thought process and think it through. If he did it for Mick’s sake, that’s one thing. That’s noble, that’s understandable, that’s the only kind of good deed Len will ever be able to touch, with hands as soiled as his.

 

If he did it for himself, if he’s so inherently manipulative that it’s _instinct_ , that he can see the long game before he has time to consciously think about it, then that makes him more dangerous to the people he claims to care about than his father ever was. He doesn’t think he could bear that. Not with the way he’s made sure that Mick and Lisa listen to everything he says. If he commands them with their best interests at heart, then that’s ok. But if he tells them what to do and they do it and he’s doing it for him, that’s - that’s horrible. He can’t live with that, can’t be that kind of person.

 

So the question remains - why did he do it?

 

Mick calls in half the favors they have, getting Len a good cellmate and keeping the gangs off him until Len tells him to stop wasting them. Even then, Mick visits more than he should, furrow in his brow, face tight and concerned. He’s worried about Len, and his care is visible to anyone who cares to look.

 

Len wishes he deserved it.

 

He gets out six months, two weeks, and three days after that heart stopping moment when he shouted “Go right!” and Mick’s waiting for him. “Hey boss,” Mick greets him. “How’d it go?”

 

Len knows that the question is genuine, that Mick really cares about the answer, but he can’t respond, knowing that he doesn’t know whether or not he deserves that sort of concern from Mick.

 

“How ‘bout you tell me what happened outside,” Len asks him, instead of responding, “partner?”

 

Mick smiles, and starts filling him in.

 

They never speak about Len’s first stay in jail again. Len thinks Mick's forgotten the reason it happened. He wishes he had.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Already More Than You Know You Are](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10547622) by [lapsus_calami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapsus_calami/pseuds/lapsus_calami)




End file.
